Monday, July 19, 2010

Exterminate the Brutes

A city councillor distressed by more complaints about gang activity is trying again to get a controversial downtown intersection shut down for good.

Ward 4 Coun. Stephen Orser has applied for formal delegation status at Monday’s environment and transportation committee (ETC) meeting to plead his case that a troubled intersection at Dundas and Richmond either be closed or gated.

Orser said he was prompted to act by yet another complaint from a fearful business owner of the neighbourhood, at Dundas and Richmond steets.

“He was terrified. A group of young thugs were kicking at his door and standing around the entrance,” Orser said. “He didn’t want to call police because he was fearful of repercussions.”

Orser said he called police, who arrived quickly.

He tried last year to have the intersection shut down after drug dealers were observed peddling their goods openly in the city core.

Only cosmetic changes, such as removing graffiti, have been completed, Orser charged.

“It’s like spraying perfume on a pig. It is still a pig,” he said.

Orser called on the city to spend the rest to put in higher fences and safer lighting and consider putting locked gates that businesses can shut at night and re-open in daytime.

Or better yet, Orser said, just shut the downtown down.

City staff plan to install new metal trees next, with the help of a consultant’s design. Transportation design engineer Karl Grabowski says in a letter to Orser, that’s part of the ETC agenda.

Police think the erection of more metal trees downtown and new lighting will deter people from loitering, Grabowski says.

Continue reading…

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Seems everywhere Al Gore goes, things get hot.

She called Gore, "a pervert" and a "sexual predator." Hagerty said he's "not what people think -- he is a sick man … "
The song was “Dear Mr. President” by Pink.… As soon as he had it playing, he turned to me and he immediately flipped me flat on my back and threw his whole body face down over atop me, pinning me down and outweighing me by quite a bit. Get off me, you big lummox! I loudly yelled protested to him… We lay on our sides a couple feet apart, looking at each other as he played the song, him singing along with it as if he were revealing deep feelings like some bizarre karaoke and me stuck there.... He prevailed upon me to listen to just this one other song about women’s feelings and their inner self and trust that he said his wife introduced him to, which is about a woman choosing to let a man into her deeper self or some such things.

All this time I thought it was methane of his thoughts that made everyone so uncomfortable . . .

. . . but maybe he's been frustrated all these years because Tipper refused to scream out "Fuck me!"

Continue reading…

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Eavesdrop on the harmonious background sound of the Universe

Pythagoras and LSD:

"When you are hearing what the sonifications do you really are hearing the data. It's true to the data, and it's telling you something about the data that you couldn't know in any other way," said Archer Endrich, a software engineer working on the project.

"We can hear clear structures in the sound, almost as if they had been composed. They seem to tell a little story all to themselves. They're so dynamic and shifting all the time, it does sound like a lot of the music that you hear in contemporary composition," [Richard Dobson] explained.

Although the project's aim is to provide particle physicists with a new analysis tool, Archer Endrich believes that it may also enable us to eavesdrop on the harmonious background sound of the Universe.

Continue reading…

Friday, May 28, 2010

Wisdom from the Government that spends 1 billion + for their summits

People who find themselves covered in feces should call 911 immediately.

Continue reading…

Thursday, May 27, 2010

In case of sonic attack at the G20 protest follow these rules . . .

The addition of sound cannons to the arsenal available to security forces managing G20 protests comes as no surprise to groups planning to demonstrate in Toronto at next month’s summit.

“It will allow us to communicate, most effectively, our demands to the crowd" [said Const. Wendy Drummond, spokeswoman for Toronto police.]

The devices — some call them weapons — use an array of tweeters familiar to any hi-fi enthusiast that work in tandem to produce the high volume levels.

“Saying a sound cannon is a tool for communications is like saying waterboarding isn’t torture, just a tool for encouraging dialogue,” said [Council of Canadians] spokesman Mark Calzavara.
This is Hawkwind, do not panic!

Bring on the Delatron!

Continue reading…

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Have a safe 24 weekend

On a Canadian holiday traditionally celebrated with a "24" of one's favourite brew, The London Fog would like to remind our readers to play safe and not throw caution to the wind in the heat of the drunken moment with that smokey smelling girl who's the last one to pass out at the camp fire. Keep in mind that after a couple days of steady drinking . . .

There's an election on the horizon, and you don't want to be distracted by troublesome genitals when you could be defeating the Axis of Evil running your city.

Continue reading…

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Let us hope the Canadiens do not win the playoffs

Riots and looting in Montreal have occurred over a hockey team. Soccer mentality has come to Canada once again. It's just a game people, but I suppose an excuse to steal and vandalize is always going to be appealing to some primates, especially when the herd gets worked up.

Continue reading…

Protesting the Extradition of Marc Emery

Marijuana activists occupy the office of Conservative heritage minister James Moore and roll joints. See the video here:

Continue reading…

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Mock Them All

Lorne Gunter writing about the recent South Park controversy:

There are several disconcerting aspects to the incident in which the animated series South Park allegedly insulted Muslims by blaspheming Muhammad.

The death threats made to the creators of the show for their "outright insult" to the prophet came from a radical Muslim group inside the United States, not one in some far-off land. The network the show airs on, Comedy Central, and the company that owns the network, Viacom, instantly bowed to the threats and censored out depictions of and references to Muhammad from a subsequent episode. Authorities seemed not to treat the threats as a criminal matter. And the satirical references to Jesus that followed slipped by without incident.


If it had been Christian zealots who had promised death for insulting depictions of Christ, the media, bureaucracy and politicians would have known instantly and instinctively to criticise and contain them.

But political correctness overrides such instincts when it comes to Muslims. The first response of many Western authorities when Muslims take offence is to mollify, to urge the altering or cessation of whatever Western behaviour it is that has given offence.


This approach will be as successful as giving the schoolyard thug your lunch money. Tomorrow he'll be back for your lunch money and bus fare, too.

Continue reading…

May the Best man win!

I, for one, am outraged at the the length of time Her Worship's husband has had to wait to clear his name of the ridiculous accusations he faces. And to make him wait until January to clear his name is clearly an indication that someone, somewhere, wants this innocent man to suffer indefinitely. Nor is it a coincidence that this incident has been drawn out to coincide with the upcoming election. The black cloud hanging over the incumbent mayor is clearly a cheap trick by nefarious forces to defame our glorious leader.

I'm sure the key witness, who has run to the other side of the world, must certainly have requested he face the Taliban rather than further slander this innocent man's name. To think that the police would have the audacity to assume that just because our man was (supposedly - accusation unproven in court) caught jogging through some backyards in Dorchester shortly after an SUV (supposedly - accusation unproven in court) belonging to him was crashing into cars several miles away reeks of a personal vendetta on behalf of the police (or someone). This is so obviously a setup instigated by enemies of Her Worship and her spouse. But fear not Londoner, justice shall prevail and Tim Best shall go free!!!

Continue reading…

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"I'm a fleabit peanut monkey/All my friends are junkies . . . "

I forgot how much I used to enjoy reading about the adventures of Curious George . . .

Continue reading…

Mind Your Own Business

According to Barbara Kay, writing in the National Post on Wednesday, the pill has been more of a hindrance than a help to women, and she suggests it is more of a burden and contributes to a breakdown of marriage. I take issue with this statement, as I never wanted children and have been with the same man for years. Better to be responsible than have to resort to an abortion if you are dead set against having children. And what about condoms? Such a backward advance I suppose, considering they help protect against disease and also provide a relatively natural alternative to contraception. I have no interest in taking the pill because it interferes with a woman's health, but I do take responsibility for my actions and it is none of Ms. Kay's business on how other folks conduct their behavior. I don't need children and never have. Really, mind your own business.

Continue reading…

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Silencing the Unbelievers

Support your South Park Friends and do take part on May 20th "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day!"

Continue reading…

Monday, April 19, 2010

Rights to other people's money

I suppose if I am poor I just have a right to your wallet, just because.

Continue reading…

Monday, March 1, 2010

Booty Pop!

"Yes, I want my Booty Pop panties!"

Continue reading…

Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Friend in Need, A Friend in Socialism

Tonight, the rousing pre-dinner speech at the food bank related to the fifteenth Socialist Virtue, that of helping out the State by rushing forward to fill the gap in whatever area of the economy where the State had bungled it's responsibilities. I did not pay much attention after that, as I was engaged in a struggle of nerves with a lout who was trying to jump the line to get a better portion of tonight's issue, which was formed chicken cubes, set in a petri dish gravy of chicken and corn starch.

I have a friend on the outside. She still lives in a house. I see her every now and then. She has a problem. So, inspired by tonight's lecture, I decided to act where the State had failed. I would be a good guy, and act as judge, jury, and executioner, where the State judiciary, the taxspender stuffed juries, and non-existent State executioners, had failed. I was being progressive.

There is a delicate situation where two people in a work environment do not get along. One of them is my friend. The racist, rapist white culture solution would be for her to resign her position, and absent herself from the place.

As a thought experiment, I suggested that if the other person, this tyrant supervisor, was absent from the work place, then that would be a solution as well. This is true, she agreed with me, but how could we get the vicious harpy to absent herself? Hmmmm.

Afterwards, you are supposed to ask yourself, 'Have I helped enough?' And I am asking that to myself right now. I just walked over to the place where the evil, blasphemous one lives. I know her car. It was dark, and I wore my white snow coveralls, which I usually do on these sorts of night sorties.

Have I helped enough? Was taking the lug nuts off her front right tire enough? I made a lot of racket with that drill, and stench with all the WD-40. Those nuts were on good. I had to use a hammer on the last one. Everyone who walked by would not even look at me. They just slogged by. Most were walking dogs. People who walk dogs in this city, in this weather, are just cruising for sex.

Have I really helped enough? Should I have instead taken the lug nuts off her front left tire? But that is the drivers side, and she might notice the drool and splatter of the WD-40, and the shiny metal of those big, now bare, wheel bolts. I do not know, yet. I will have to wait.

I wonder what will happen next.

Continue reading…

Friday, February 19, 2010

Is your housecat a god?

There are spiritual beings out there that like to take over the bodies of animals and men. Now, let us think about this. When these spirits, familiar to most Ouija board users, decide on which critter or primate to inhabit, a certain amount of lifestyle choice is made. If you were a werewolf, for example, you look for wolves, or people. You have a werewolf sort of experience. It may last only a few days, or an entire military campaign. But it is the choice of the werewolf. But there are more spirits out there, unattached to mortal flesh, than werewolves.

Think about house cats. They live a life of luxury, a long life of luxury, where in their natural state they are short lived, insect eating swamp demons. The true wild cat, delights in swamp dwelling, and its senses are attuned to harvesting the tasty bugs, the crunchy spiders, the sun sleepy flies, and the dullard froglings. Being a house cat, with a brace of primates to provide food and entertainment, is the lifestyle choice certainly selected by these shape shifting, powerful supernatural beings. Indeed, where you find a pampered house cat, there you find a werewolf, admittedly, one of the lazy ones. Werewolves are always dangerous, our ancient legends tell us. But why aren't house cats dangerous to their owners?

More ancient pagan wisdom about house cats. Well, if you think it through, these werewolf shape shifted house cats, being so powerful, recruit human dupes as effectively hired staff, to come chop-chop to feed them delicacies daily, to carry off their stinking liquid and solid wastes, and to act the fool and entertain their tiny brains. Such good service is rewarded by these spirits. Where you find the pampered house cat, there you find men and women enslaved by the powerful magic of the werewolf. They have strange things happen around them. And people who get in the way of the social services of regular delivery of chow, waste removal, and circuses, they are the ones who end up with nightmares and creeping warts.

But not all house cats are werewolves. Some are just dumb cats. Some aren't. Some are werewolves. It would be in your best interest, do you not think, to be able to tell the two apart? So, send me your money. You will want instruction on how to identify, and protect yourself from these dangerous beings. You may consider them the equivalent of a bear attack, when they discard their house cat form and become, instead, some form of wolf or bear. If you can handle that, to be suddenly attacked by an over two hundred pound, slavering jawed, urine spraying, four clawed furry beast, then keep your credit cards in your wallet.

Send me your money.

Continue reading…

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Moon in Scorpio Moon in Detriment

Pagan London is not so hidden and asleep now. The Age of Aquarius is upon us, and this is the time of the passing of the torch from the old to the new.

The Sun is in Aquarius and this abomination occurred: a tree was cut down. Every tree worshiper knows that this in the most horrible blasphemy. And when this happened, a witch and her black cat were disturbed in their winter melancholy. This is a very bad omen for the five lazy public sector workers who woke up a witches black cat from his nine lifetime regular nap just after sunset breakfast. Bad enough a black cat is feeling hate towards these foolish mortals, but they also disturbed a witch.

As an angry Saturn scowls down upon the sacrilege of cutting down a tree during the time that the Sun is in Aquarius, there are also powerful curses finding their way through the invisible and astral realms. Tomorrow morning, as these damned public sectors awake from a nightmare filled sleep, they will find themselves host to warts, hemorrhoids, and painful gas. The fear of death will be in their hearts, and their only comfort will be warm 7-up from the hospital waiting room cafeteria.

This is the logical conclusion of a non-Christian, Pagan, spiritual world view. Everyone knows that when the Sun is in Aquarius it is bad luck to cut down a tree. And the angry Saturn, the same Saturn that these people celebrated with Holiday, they have made over to be their god. Obligations were made, only, even worse than some tricky genie, these foolish mortals who have made their lives over to this particular pagan deity are completely ignorant of the required rituals, paraphernalia, protective amulets, necessary taboos, and temple tithes to a greedy, vengeful, and debauched clergy. Their future is one as a character in a Stephen King novel, usually a walk on role, something early and horrible.

I saw all this in my crystal ball. I have one, of course. Even better than that, is a old television set. You just do not turn it on. Follow the instructions that Nostradamus left, but as with a pail of water.

I wonder what more will happen.

Continue reading…