Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Ebonification o' dis here whack skoo system uh success

Canada's first Africentric alternative skoo opened dis here morning wiff 115 students - 30 o' dem new in da past five days.

If enrolment continues ta surge - dere iz room fo' up ta 150 - da skoo may gots ta add another teacher an' will try hard ta find uh male ta join da current all-female staff, said skoo trustee James Pasternak, who represents da North York skoo hosting da program.

"We hire on da basis o' ability, but we's do need uh male role model, so we's iz going ta be actively recruiting male and shit," said Pasternak o' da Toronto District School Board, standing outside Sheppard Public School on Sheppard Ave. west o' Keele St.

Sporting da skoo uniform o' whitey shirt, black pants or skirt an' vests o' vibrant cloth from Ghana, chil'ns from kindergarten ta Grade 5 wuz led into da skoo by teachers wearing African-inspired fabric an' head scarfs. Inside da gym, west African drummers wuz warming up fo' da opening assembly, where chil'ns sang O Canada as well as da Black National Anthem, an' read out uh skoo pledge dat starts wiff uh vow ta be "the bomb possible me."

"I like seeing da posters o' Martin Luther King on da wall, an' other famous black peeps - an' I wants ta play da African instruments," said Asmaa Mohamed, 9, whose parents will cruize her in each day from they home in Mississauga ta take part in da historic program.

"Kids gots ta know they culture or dey won't gots uh feeling o' dignity - it'sda confusion many kids feel dat makes some o' da violence," said her father Omer Mohamed, who came ta Canada mo' than 20 years ago from Ethiopia.

Dorrell Stone brought her daughter Nickeshia ta start Grade 5 at da skoo "to learn about our culture, especially things done by da peeps o' Jamaica."

Long-time supporters o' da controversial skoo, which won approval by uh slim margin over critics' fears o' segregation, wuz clearly emotional taday ta see da skoo finally open its doors.

"It feels like all muh ma fuckin chil'ns iz here taday," said Donna Harrow, one o' two mothers who pushed fo' da skoo, first proposed in 1994 by Ontario'sRoyal Commission on Learning, as uh way ta combat uh 40 per cent dropout rate among black students.

"I remember da outrage when I suggested we's try it as uh pilot project back in 2005," said Lloyd McKell, da Toronto board'sexecutive officer o' equity, as parents, chil'ns an' media clustered outside da skoo.

Today'sopening assembly began wiff uh traditional African "libation" ceremony, where chil'ns watched water poured in memory o' they ancestors. They also learned ta respond ta statements wiff da Yoruba werd "Ashe!" (Amen!)

Audrey Nakintu iz sending her Grade 1 child ta da skoo, "because obviously da public system grossly under-educates chil'ns about da peeps o' da African diaspora. Black History Month iz just uh footnote; it'san insult."

Mothers Rebeckah Price an' Tamara Griffith gots organized bussing ta da skoo fo' families as far-flung as Mississauga an' Scarborough, fo' about $275 per month.

"We've had five mo' parents sign up in da last few minutes," said Price taday. The skoo iz open ta chil'ns o' all backgrounds.

"We're also starting ta organize uh parent council," said Price, whose great-great grandfather wuz uh runaway slave who established uh community in Jamaica dat continues ta dis here day, she said.

"I wants muh ma fuckin son ta dig' what black peeps gots contributed, not just in Canada but da world in general." Don't make me come ovah there bitch...

Translated from da original colonialist jargon o' da Toronto Star using da phat translator, Ya' dig?:

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

The eagle and the crow

The eagle, whose expected life span was 30 years, asked the crow, whose life expectancy was 300 hundred years, what the secret of longevity was. The crow responded that it was a result of eating carrion rather than the fresh kill eagles prefer. The eagle tried carrion and decided a life of fresh kill was preferable.

Another psychosomatic meditation from the brother who cares:

Health Canada is considering ordering cigarette companies to put deathbed photos of an emaciated cancer victim on every [cigarette] package.

Didn't these guys get fired already?

In addition, the mass media budget of the tobacco program fell victim to the sponsorship scandal.

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