Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Friend in Need, A Friend in Socialism

Tonight, the rousing pre-dinner speech at the food bank related to the fifteenth Socialist Virtue, that of helping out the State by rushing forward to fill the gap in whatever area of the economy where the State had bungled it's responsibilities. I did not pay much attention after that, as I was engaged in a struggle of nerves with a lout who was trying to jump the line to get a better portion of tonight's issue, which was formed chicken cubes, set in a petri dish gravy of chicken and corn starch.

I have a friend on the outside. She still lives in a house. I see her every now and then. She has a problem. So, inspired by tonight's lecture, I decided to act where the State had failed. I would be a good guy, and act as judge, jury, and executioner, where the State judiciary, the taxspender stuffed juries, and non-existent State executioners, had failed. I was being progressive.

There is a delicate situation where two people in a work environment do not get along. One of them is my friend. The racist, rapist white culture solution would be for her to resign her position, and absent herself from the place.

As a thought experiment, I suggested that if the other person, this tyrant supervisor, was absent from the work place, then that would be a solution as well. This is true, she agreed with me, but how could we get the vicious harpy to absent herself? Hmmmm.

Afterwards, you are supposed to ask yourself, 'Have I helped enough?' And I am asking that to myself right now. I just walked over to the place where the evil, blasphemous one lives. I know her car. It was dark, and I wore my white snow coveralls, which I usually do on these sorts of night sorties.

Have I helped enough? Was taking the lug nuts off her front right tire enough? I made a lot of racket with that drill, and stench with all the WD-40. Those nuts were on good. I had to use a hammer on the last one. Everyone who walked by would not even look at me. They just slogged by. Most were walking dogs. People who walk dogs in this city, in this weather, are just cruising for sex.

Have I really helped enough? Should I have instead taken the lug nuts off her front left tire? But that is the drivers side, and she might notice the drool and splatter of the WD-40, and the shiny metal of those big, now bare, wheel bolts. I do not know, yet. I will have to wait.

I wonder what will happen next.

Continue reading…

Friday, February 19, 2010

Is your housecat a god?

There are spiritual beings out there that like to take over the bodies of animals and men. Now, let us think about this. When these spirits, familiar to most Ouija board users, decide on which critter or primate to inhabit, a certain amount of lifestyle choice is made. If you were a werewolf, for example, you look for wolves, or people. You have a werewolf sort of experience. It may last only a few days, or an entire military campaign. But it is the choice of the werewolf. But there are more spirits out there, unattached to mortal flesh, than werewolves.

Think about house cats. They live a life of luxury, a long life of luxury, where in their natural state they are short lived, insect eating swamp demons. The true wild cat, delights in swamp dwelling, and its senses are attuned to harvesting the tasty bugs, the crunchy spiders, the sun sleepy flies, and the dullard froglings. Being a house cat, with a brace of primates to provide food and entertainment, is the lifestyle choice certainly selected by these shape shifting, powerful supernatural beings. Indeed, where you find a pampered house cat, there you find a werewolf, admittedly, one of the lazy ones. Werewolves are always dangerous, our ancient legends tell us. But why aren't house cats dangerous to their owners?

More ancient pagan wisdom about house cats. Well, if you think it through, these werewolf shape shifted house cats, being so powerful, recruit human dupes as effectively hired staff, to come chop-chop to feed them delicacies daily, to carry off their stinking liquid and solid wastes, and to act the fool and entertain their tiny brains. Such good service is rewarded by these spirits. Where you find the pampered house cat, there you find men and women enslaved by the powerful magic of the werewolf. They have strange things happen around them. And people who get in the way of the social services of regular delivery of chow, waste removal, and circuses, they are the ones who end up with nightmares and creeping warts.

But not all house cats are werewolves. Some are just dumb cats. Some aren't. Some are werewolves. It would be in your best interest, do you not think, to be able to tell the two apart? So, send me your money. You will want instruction on how to identify, and protect yourself from these dangerous beings. You may consider them the equivalent of a bear attack, when they discard their house cat form and become, instead, some form of wolf or bear. If you can handle that, to be suddenly attacked by an over two hundred pound, slavering jawed, urine spraying, four clawed furry beast, then keep your credit cards in your wallet.

Send me your money.

Continue reading…

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Moon in Scorpio Moon in Detriment

Pagan London is not so hidden and asleep now. The Age of Aquarius is upon us, and this is the time of the passing of the torch from the old to the new.

The Sun is in Aquarius and this abomination occurred: a tree was cut down. Every tree worshiper knows that this in the most horrible blasphemy. And when this happened, a witch and her black cat were disturbed in their winter melancholy. This is a very bad omen for the five lazy public sector workers who woke up a witches black cat from his nine lifetime regular nap just after sunset breakfast. Bad enough a black cat is feeling hate towards these foolish mortals, but they also disturbed a witch.

As an angry Saturn scowls down upon the sacrilege of cutting down a tree during the time that the Sun is in Aquarius, there are also powerful curses finding their way through the invisible and astral realms. Tomorrow morning, as these damned public sectors awake from a nightmare filled sleep, they will find themselves host to warts, hemorrhoids, and painful gas. The fear of death will be in their hearts, and their only comfort will be warm 7-up from the hospital waiting room cafeteria.

This is the logical conclusion of a non-Christian, Pagan, spiritual world view. Everyone knows that when the Sun is in Aquarius it is bad luck to cut down a tree. And the angry Saturn, the same Saturn that these people celebrated with Holiday, they have made over to be their god. Obligations were made, only, even worse than some tricky genie, these foolish mortals who have made their lives over to this particular pagan deity are completely ignorant of the required rituals, paraphernalia, protective amulets, necessary taboos, and temple tithes to a greedy, vengeful, and debauched clergy. Their future is one as a character in a Stephen King novel, usually a walk on role, something early and horrible.

I saw all this in my crystal ball. I have one, of course. Even better than that, is a old television set. You just do not turn it on. Follow the instructions that Nostradamus left, but as with a pail of water.

I wonder what more will happen.

Continue reading…