Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Friend in Need, A Friend in Socialism

Tonight, the rousing pre-dinner speech at the food bank related to the fifteenth Socialist Virtue, that of helping out the State by rushing forward to fill the gap in whatever area of the economy where the State had bungled it's responsibilities. I did not pay much attention after that, as I was engaged in a struggle of nerves with a lout who was trying to jump the line to get a better portion of tonight's issue, which was formed chicken cubes, set in a petri dish gravy of chicken and corn starch.

I have a friend on the outside. She still lives in a house. I see her every now and then. She has a problem. So, inspired by tonight's lecture, I decided to act where the State had failed. I would be a good guy, and act as judge, jury, and executioner, where the State judiciary, the taxspender stuffed juries, and non-existent State executioners, had failed. I was being progressive.

There is a delicate situation where two people in a work environment do not get along. One of them is my friend. The racist, rapist white culture solution would be for her to resign her position, and absent herself from the place.

As a thought experiment, I suggested that if the other person, this tyrant supervisor, was absent from the work place, then that would be a solution as well. This is true, she agreed with me, but how could we get the vicious harpy to absent herself? Hmmmm.

Afterwards, you are supposed to ask yourself, 'Have I helped enough?' And I am asking that to myself right now. I just walked over to the place where the evil, blasphemous one lives. I know her car. It was dark, and I wore my white snow coveralls, which I usually do on these sorts of night sorties.

Have I helped enough? Was taking the lug nuts off her front right tire enough? I made a lot of racket with that drill, and stench with all the WD-40. Those nuts were on good. I had to use a hammer on the last one. Everyone who walked by would not even look at me. They just slogged by. Most were walking dogs. People who walk dogs in this city, in this weather, are just cruising for sex.

Have I really helped enough? Should I have instead taken the lug nuts off her front left tire? But that is the drivers side, and she might notice the drool and splatter of the WD-40, and the shiny metal of those big, now bare, wheel bolts. I do not know, yet. I will have to wait.

I wonder what will happen next.