Saturday, March 21, 2009

The invisible Randy Richmond

I was thinking about Randy Richmond, newshound for the London Free Press * just the other day. I was calling in to cancel my subscription to the London Free Press, and he does work for that paper. Pierre Burton's son is the editor.

If you go to wikipedia and check out the latest version of Kathy Shaidle's entry * and lo and behold, there is Randy cited three times. He must be an important, influential guy. And he must have gifted psychic powers, too. He was never at the Kathy Shaidle event, but his astral body allows him to pass judgement, because he was there in spirit. Such is the nature of progressive, activist newspaper persons. He could have dragged his carcass to the event, and found out for himself, asked questions, and based his judgements on facts, rather than the second hand stuff told to him by his friends. But I am not a journalist and do not know how they turn second hand rumor and innuendo into copy.

I was talking to one of the advertisers of the London Free Press. I shared with him my experiences of the invisible Randy Richmond. His business is in peril because of the economy, and his mind was on the collapse of his Canadian dream. And potholes, of course. Nobody in London likes the constant crop of potholes. I wondered if the invisible and psychic Randy Richmond could spill some ink about the pothole problem here in London. He is, after all, a newspaper person with a nose for news.

The advertiser cancelled his subscription to the London Free Press. He has to cut corners, what with the automobile industry that the environmentalists hate going down. I hope that the invisible Randy Richmond sends his invisible spirit to this man to give him the press coverage of his plight that he deserves. He no longer advertises in the London Free Press, and he no longer subscribes, but I am sure that the impartial, fair, balanced, and all around good guy Randy Richmond will give him a good report, even if the advertiser has all the advantages that come from the invisible knapsack of white privilege.

Some day, the invisible Randy Richmond will attend in the flesh one of the events, personages, and situations that he writes about. I want to see what he looks like. Maybe he lives close to where I live (there are two R Richmond in the yellow pages database *). Maybe he drives a car I like and we can swap stores about driving. Maybe we can share anecodotes about our common chum, Warren Kinsella. Maybe recipes. I think Randy Richmond is much friendlier to Warren, and knowing Warren is a great way to get a leg up in non-Conservative politics. Meeting the invisible Randy Richmond is a special project of mine. Maybe I can learn how to make him invisible, too. Some of my ancestors, who settled in Sicily *, learnt how to make people invisible. Maybe Randy Richmond does it the same way.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this

1 Comment:

Rockinon said...

Funny piece and all too accurate. How our local paper has changed under the ownership of Sun Media and Quebecor.