Monday, January 19, 2009

The Kingdom of the Middle Saxons

As Global Warming continues to chill our economy, we look up from our unnaturally warm winter environment, and we can look forward to a happier, better future, where all energy produced is sustainable. The last time we had a sustainable energy supply was back in the happy days of the Middle Ages, when we lived in harmony with the earth, where the horse was the primary source of motive power. Indeed, we are soon to return to the environmentally friendly Middle Ages, and embrace the highest form of progressive socialism, Feudalism.

London, mighty London, was situated on this, the Thames, to be the capital of the province of Upper Canada. From this position commanding the navigable to cargo canoe and fluvial trireme, London would dominate both the county, but the kingdom, and the kingdoms beyond. Unlike the Lower Canadians, the Upper Canadians situated their capital in the midst of a vast, lush agricultural area. And with agricultural surplus comes power, wealth, and influence. Just like in the happy days of the Middle Ages. Indeed, London of the future, that pleasant future without white privilege, oil based industry, air conditioning and bath water, will be the true capital, first city, of the province of Ontario. If the Romans ruled, and not the Middle Saxons, the ruler would certainly be a senator of pro-praetorian rank. Here, in the walled city will sit the king, pro-consul, or imperator, to dispense justice, dispatch armies of peacekeepers, or receive delegations laden with tribute.

Ramparts of Stone, and men of steel. London's supremacy in this coming age of Noveaux-Feudalism will not come without a price. Mighty walls must surround the city to protect it from raiders, bandits, wolves in spring and winter, bears in the spring and fall, and rabid skunks in the heat of summer. Lesser powers will be envious of the mighty city, and send chainmail clad soldiery against us. From the Highlands of Haliburton will come blue painted Muskokaoids, from the lesser city of Toronto will come Nigoons, and from across the lake to the south will sweep treacherous Yankees, who pick their noses and chew on tobacco. But London, the capital of the Kingdom of the Middle Saxons, breeds a better strain of men. They are fed well in their youth, they learn the arts of environmentally conflict resolution: the horse, the lance, the mace, and the sword; and they march to crush the twisted half-humans who dare to defy the wise social policy of the King who has his throne in London.

A Brighter World Tomorrow. Yes, when the modern economy collapses, and capitalism gives way to the perfection of Socialist Feudalism, we can look forward to the horse taking the place of the car, and your back to take the place of your snow blower, and then you can say, yes, I am happier under feudalism. I despise central heating, and I think the progressives did us a favor in undermining our culture, economy, and way of life. You will be cold in winter, to fight Global Warming. Hurrah for the Kingdom of the Middle Saxons, for as you gaze upon the shining ramparts of Mighty London, you gaze upon the capital, the center, the collective adminstrative apex. Here is where the taxes go. Here is where the taxgatherers, the highest form of taxspender, gather to horde and count, and supervise lessers to the forging of more and better weapons.

Other improvements. All progressive Feudal states had a state religion. It will not be Christianity this time, so let us search for a suitable replacement. I suggest the cult of Set, the Snake God. And the walls for London project are required as well. And we should lay in a supply of wrought iron and charcoal for making peacekeeper tools. You might want to train your young boys to use the longbow, because if you do not, those Nigoons from Toronto will.

I love London, in the Kingdom of the Middle Saxons.

Fenris Badwulf

1 Comment:

Mike said...

Brilliant as ever. You have seen the future and it works.