Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Walls of London


The Forest City. Agricultural capital of the mighty province of Ontario. London will be here after Toronto has crumbled into ruins. Ziggaruts will rise and fall in Ottawa, Shibboleths will turn to gravel in Vaughan, and the beggars of Brampton will have turned to food for the roses, but London, mighty London will still be here. I envision a thousand years of prosperity for London. And this will start with the green revolution, when Ontario is an agricultural province again, with London as the capital.

Now, any agricultural capital needs walls. Fortifications. Battlements of stone, a wide moat, and ditches filled with spikes. This is in keeping with the traditions of our non-Christian cultures. Where would Rome be without walls? And what of Athens, Carthage, or Persepolis? All had walls in the ages of agricultual surplus. Only Sparta had no walls, and that model we are not going to follow just yet. So, let us ring London, mighty London with walls.

I call upon you, the People of London, to prepare plans and sketches for walls around the Forest City. I call for three versions:

1) Medieval style walls. High parapets with moats and towers. Look to the peaceful Normans and the Crusaders for your designs.

2) Vauban style walls. Earthen ramparts with cannon, bastions, demi-lunes and redoubts. Gunpowder will still be created in our green future, and will be allowed in this scenario.

3) Liege style walls. Look to the Belgian fortress cities of the time before the First World War. Turrets in cast iron cupolas!


Hurry to your AutoCAD, take out your colored pencils, and take a transit map of London and prepare your plans! A prize of carbon credits and a free set of horseshoes for your horse will be given.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

2 comments:

Mike said...

Amazing to get Badwulf content, but savvy progressives will not fall for this one.

During the agricultural revolution 10,000 years ago, a minority of people invented a way to give themselves power over the majority. We call this invention “civilization.”

For the first time large surpluses of food could be created, counted, and concentrated... Instead of working with the native polycultures, the inventors of our culture found they could create great surpluses if they replaced natural landscapes with human food. This also allowed for the first time denial of food to other species and even wholesale destruction of species that competed for our food.


The anti-Samurai forces also get a whuppin'.

[U]ntil 1860, if a Samurai caught you with a wheel, it was an instant trial, judgement and sentence and off went your head. Oh... and their primary method of keeping everyone from overempowering themselves over others - they made possession of wheeled carts used for locamotion punishable by death.

Too bad we changed their pattern for them. Within just two generations of white euros sold them on the wheel, they had lashed out ... and now we have the bomb.

marginalizedactiondinosaur said...

Put not too much weight in thine turrets we still need shock troops when one of the Belgian fort's falls you don't just sit there, you take it back.


Beware the maginot mentality.

The Germans had better trenches than the British in WWI but lost because it makes one soft. Yes you need hard points but if your troops are out in the rain and you send Alexanders army into Asia minor to take the forts from those who are soft along that path glory lies. It's obvious that London needs to launch an all out assault on Toronto.