Tuesday, May 6, 2008

This is London!

We've all come across displays like the one at right on the streets of London so often now that it seems a rather dull and commonplace illustration for the City's 2007 Creative, Diverse and Innovative City Report Card. Still the same may be said for the dozens of bright cheerful photographs inside depicting such humdrum everyday sights as Asian deejays, native dancers, Afghani drummers, fire-eaters, and various assorted happy-as-a-token immigrants.

You might think that drawing such conspicuous attention to common diversity on the part of our municipal bureaucrats is … well … slightly racist. But you'd be wrong — it's a Diverse City Report Card, dammit! And a Creative and Innovative City it is too, with exclusive proprietary rights on the use of all progressive buzzwords — for your own good, of course.

What but a Creative and Innovative City after all could pack so many photographs into only four professionally-designed colour 11×17 pages printed on glossy paper (available at your local library and here)? Of the little bits of text thrown in here and there amidst the report — apparently to illustrate the photographs, or perhaps to serve London's diverse community of illiterates — little needs to be said except that the City's politicians and bureaucrats are proceeding to do a bang-up job of meeting most of the Creative, Diverse and Innovative strategic objectives except for on those few matters for which taxpayers have not yet been persuaded to spend enough money yet. While our Heritage Grants Per Capita and Arts Grants Per Capita are above the median for Ontario municipalities, otherwise known as "In Good Standing," our Gross Capital Culture Cost Per Capita is below the median or, dare we say it:

Report Cards such as this are ignored at the peril of our most Creative, Diverse and Innovative class — the politicians and bureaucrats who need our money!


rg909 said...

Fire-eaters and Afghani drummers, you say? London has turned into Cirque du Soleil since my last visit! Bravisimo!

Here in Fort St. John, BC, we get an A+ just for driving our 4x4s down to the dump and shooting rats. It makes the malt liquor seem to taste even better.

Mike said...

Did they include London's Redneck Rollercoaster?

That's an expression of the diversity and creative spirit of my culture and community.

Jake said...

Oh Boy! Davesfarm is London's culture export to the world. German television even did a documentary on him.

If there is an ambassador for London it's Dave Rock.

Mike said...

I have no idea why I never heard of the awesome Dave Rock until this past week. Why isn't he in this thing? His videos are about as Ontario as it gets.

Dave Rock could probably build a working nuclear submarine out of junkyard pickings for half of what the City spent to produce these ludicrous "Report Card"s.

Honey Pot said...

Where do they find these people? A famous quote from a newly appointed pickpocket working for city council:

"The last thing anybody's going to do is be irresponsible," -lfp Michael Crowley


No doubt the Ambassador London and the LEDC will work hard at putting out brochures,like the one above, that have nothing to do with London,in an attempt to attract......who knows what they are trying to attract by wasting our money, but it must be important, because they said so.