Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Grass is always greener on the other side of the pen

Nothing destroys a spring morning sleep-in or afternoon walk quite like the sound, sight and smell of a gas powered lawnmower. How can one possibly sleep through the noise of the engine powered blades butchering living grass that has been in many cases watered along with the sidewalk? I fear for my eyes during my walk, as a stone might fly from that gas guzzling beast should the operator fail to notice I'm afoot. And then, there is the second hand gas fumes that I am forced to inhale. If Al Gore has a lawn, wastes valuable water to make it grow and cuts it, he is an earth killer.

My neighbours who let their grass grow and grow and grow without trying are friends of the earth. This is consistently ignored by the monopolists of aesthetics who appeal to the goons at city hall to adjust their neighbour's property to their own standards. In London, Ontario, if your grass exceeds a certain length, the city will send out a crew to cut it if you fail to do so. The bill is yours to pay for the carnage left behind. London will never truly be Forest City until the grass is allowed to grow, and The Mayor of Mitchieville's proposed carbon tax will continue to be scorned unless those precious stalks are allowed to flourish.

On the other hand of the public equation, we must not forget deserved opportunities denied to activists and government workers should we leave our neighbour's lawns alone. In Canton, Ohio, you might soon face jail time for failing to play the role of the grim reaper. They care:

CANTON For residents tired of that overgrown lot that resembles a minijungle next door, the city wants to help by trying to put high-grass violators behind bars.

City Council wants to beef up its existing high-grass and weeds law by making a second offense a fourth-degree misdemeanor, which is punishable by a fine of up to $250 and up to 30 days in jail.

[..] Strengthening the law would give judges and police "a way to get their attention," Law Director Joseph Martuccio said of lawbreakers. More pressure also could be applied to lot owners and those responsible through letters, conferences and prosecutor's hearings, he said.
HT: Drudge.


Honey Pot said...

The trick is to just pave any grass you have in your yard, and paint it green.

Honey Pot said...

Just read this in the national post and chuckled. It is a good shot at the glowtards in their endeavour to control nature.
Wer'e no match for nature's fury.

Re: So much for "Settled Science,"-Lorne Guner, May 20.

The dammage that humans are capable of doing to nature is nothing compared to the harm that nature so easily does to humans. The fear that we are capable of "killing the planet" or "destroying the climate" is hyperbolic to the point of ridiculousness. Humans are less than insects in the scale of natural history and the planet will be crawling ith life long after today's guilty thoughts are remembered by our descendents with amusement. We are capable of harming ourselves with our foolish beliefs but the systems of nature are beyond our control.-Boris DeWiel, associate professor, Department of Political Science, University of Northern British Columbia, Prince George, B.C.

Thank goodness our universitiy elite did not all fall hook, line and sinker into the primitive belief system of the glowtard movement.

basil said...

Americans can't resist throwing their neighbours in jail for "growing grass". Sadly, the Canadian government insists on keeping up with the Joneses.