Saturday, November 3, 2007

"Those damned outdated systems! Why didn't they upgrade themselves?"



Local troubadour,
Frank le Fou, has recorded a new song to commemorate the Wellington and Dundas catastrophe.

PLAY LOUD



"The Outdated Systems to Blame"

Music: Traditional
Lyrics: Frank le Fou (with files from Norman De Bono, Sun Media; Free Press Staff)

A 30-centimetre water main,
60 years beneath the road;
A 10-metre wide, two-metre
deep hole quickly formed.

It’s the aging, underground infrastructure
starting to crumble down.
They shoulda known a water main would break,
sooner than later, downtown.

It’s the aging, outdated
systems to blame.
It’s the aging, outdated
systems to blame.

When Citibank went to see their property
they got denied access to their store,
‘cause when the water hit the hydro lines
they had to shut down most of the city’s core.

'What will happen when we are here?'
there has to be a system in place.
Businesses want to see an action plan
"or in 10 years we will not have a downtown
if this happens again."

It’s the aging, outdated
systems to blame.
It’s the aging, outdated
systems to blame.

Now the JLC may stand empty
‘cause the ice surface melted away;
Without hydro for a big sound system
Al Gore won’t talk and Cher can’t play.

11 comments:

Elaine said...

As always, another gigantic gem from Frank.

If anyone was in line for a creative arts grant in this city. It would be Frank

Elaine said...

Frank you are on roll.

Do you think you could write a song about our one of our money sucking tourist attractions here in London?...well two, if you include the hole.

http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2007/11/05/4631609-sun.html

Cuts loom at deficit-plagued Storybook-lfp

After four straight years of deficits totalling more then $1 million-lfp

"Some of the early (projections) were overly optimistic," Fair said.-lfp

The original business plan didn't adequately address a number of factors, Fair said-lfp

About 70 per cent of visitors to Storybook are Londoners, most of the rest are from nearby and those who travel far do so for reasons other than the theme park.-lfp

Simply put, Storybook is not a destination that draws tourists, he said.-lfp

The numbers at Storybook concern Mayor Anne Marie DeCicco-Best, who led the charge to rebuild it.

She says she asked Fair to do a review.

"We're going to ask some serious questions"-lfp

City staff also are considering modest additions to Storybook, such as a ferris wheel, that might bring in more revenue than they cost.-lfp

A ferris wheel!!!! why didn't anyone think of that before. I just know that will bring them in from far and wide.

Perhaps they could get a deal and get two ferris wheels. One for Storybook, and one for the sinkhole downtown.

I can see people paying big bucks to observe the hole with a bird's eye view.

This city is doomed when the only idea our council can come up with to attract tourist is to waste more money to put a ferris wheel at Storybook gardens.

mariposa said...

Oh boy, look out 'cause Anne Marie is going to "ask some serious questions."

And then she's going to spend our money on a ferris wheel, a performing arts centre and more fake trees.

eng said...

What they need is a hard deadline to fix the streets. You can claim Y2K was a hoax, but that is beside the point today.

Y2k did get a lot of crap all over the place fixed before a deadline that could not be changed or negotiated. It was more costly, because there was a lot of "better safe than sorry" logic in fixing software bugs. But "better safe than sorry" isn't such a bad idea if you'd like to avoid driving into a sink hole.

So they had no insurance?

What about reserves? Even condos have to have a reserve fund and the directors can go to jail if they do not.

NIAC said...

As a proud Londoner...ok, I can't type that with a straight face.

Look, Storybook Garden costs money, the sinkhole, that was free. I am guessing the attendance to Dundas and Wellington is up to Storybook levels? Start charging a buck or two extra for an LTC ride from the Convention Centre (so that it appears to make money) and tour the downtown...the JLC, the Market, the Art Gallery...then the sinkhole. I mean, it IS an archaeological site, the bricks in the sewer are more than 150 years old.

mariposa said...

niac - sounds like as good an idea as the ferris wheel.

I'll bet more people would come to tour the downtown sinkhole than would want to ride that ferris wheel.

And Elaine I like the idea of the ferris wheel overlooking the sinkhole. That would probably attract a lot more people than at Storybook.

Elaine said...

Mariposa, I can't believe that grown people, with functioning brain stems, would suggest a ferris wheel at Storybook, as the solution to its woes.

It is like Fanshawe pioneer village, you go once and that is enough to last you a lifetime.

Face it, London is boring, because the mentality of the people running the show is boring.

I can't imagine saying to someone out of town, "come to London, we have the fanciest ferris wheel at our number one tourist attraction that is geared to the six and under crowd."

eng said...

I know! They need a monorail!

Elaine said...

I was thinking, it is going to take them forever to fix that mess. Why don't they just fence off part of the downtown, and hold a big market close to the hole, for a few years, until they can get around to fixing it. No license needed, just anyone can set up a table, and have street entertainment. Anyone with a fiddle or banjo can go down there and play. It would be a good place to showcase the amazing talent of Frank le Fou. Put a tin cup out, and what they make, they make.

Call it the "Let's fill the hole in London's heart," marketplace. I think it could work.

Have hole in the ground buses designated to drop people off in close proxmity to the hole. Someone might as well make some money off it.

....just heard the mayor on the radio, no timeframe, for the hole situation. You and I know it will be there until the second coming of Diane Haskett.

marginalizedactiondinosaur said...

I see the ugly metal trees all across canada I wonder if its some artist group selling them to the government for something nefarious in return.


He should have done london falling ;)

Elaine said...

Here is a take on the city council meeting tonight. It will take them forever to figure this out, so I thought I would help them.

London roads are falling down,

falling down, falling down

London roads are falling down my fair mayor-o
(chorus from the citizens)
Take a key and lock her up,
Lock her up, Lock her up.
Take a key and lock her up,
My fair mayor-o

(chorus from the councilors)

How will we build it up,
Build it up, Build it up?
How will we build it up,
My fair Mayor-o?

Build it up with silver and gold,
Silver and gold, Silver and gold.
Build it up with silver and gold,
My fair mayor-o

(solo by mayor)
Gold and silver I have none,
I have none, I have none.
Gold and silver I have none,
My fair mayor-o.

(sung by the socialist)
raise the taxes, it is the way, it is the way, is the way, raise the taxes, it is the way
My fair mayor-o


(chorus by the socialist)
Build it up with needles and pins,
Needles and pins, Needles and pins.
Build it up with needles and pins,
My fair mayor-o

(chorus from the male councilors)
Pins and needles bend and break,
Bend and break, Bend and break.
Pins and needles bend and break,
My fair mayor-o.

(song in unison)
Build it up with wood and clay,
Wood and clay, Wood and clay.
Build it up with wood and clay,
My fair mayor-o


(city engineers chorus)
Wood and clay will wash away,
Wash away, Wash away.
Wood and clay will wash away,
My fair mayor-o

(sung by anyone with a brain)
Build it up with stone so strong,
Stone so strong, Stone so strong.
Build it up with stone so strong,
My fair mayor-o.

Stone so strong will last so long,
Last so long, Last so long.
Stone so strong will last so long,
My fair mayor-o.