Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Green Revolution

When they ban plastic bags I’m not picking up dog poop and putting it in my pocket.
That's Dinosaur, commenting on London's green policy which could soon result in drive-thru regulations. Happily, I have received telemarketing training from Fenris Badwulf and can address all of the concerns raised by Dinosaur and NIAC.

NIAC is concerned that jobs will be lost if the city bans drive-thrus. Dinosaur correctly notes that dog owners will be less inclined to clean up their dog's feces if plastic bags are banned. The solution is to impose both bans at once. More dog poop on the streets means more overpaid city workers to clean up the mess. That means jobs. The unemployed workers, many of whom are accustomed to working for minimum wage, will soon understand going green is in their best interest after all. Heteronormatives who do not meet hiring quotas can always start pushing bags to children and climate change deniers on the black market.


NIAC said...

Lisa, my eyes are watering! I hope it is the plastic bags.

Mike said...

Psst! Hey, you!

Over here. Yeah, you!

Nice dog you got there.

You, ah, lookin'?

Elaine said...

Good business opportunity. A pet cemetery and crematorium.

I can just see people divisig ways of knocking off their neighbours pets who poop without it being scooped.

I was thinking they could use paper bags, but a couple of leakers, and people will be killing their own pets.

There is money in them there glowtardian hills.

marginalizedactiondinosaur said...

Now Lisa I never thought of a black market and that appeals to the capitalist in me.

However every time I've seen city workers cleaning up they use plastic bags.

I'm sure Fenris has a solution I missed,