Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Is Al Gore a martian?

Peter Foster thinks so, and I'm inclined to agree:

Live Earth certainly represents a gathering of space cadets. It might be called An Inconvenient Truth: The Musical. Apart from Mr. Gore, its main organizer is Kevin Wall, an L.A.-based distributor of digital concerts. Mr. Wall, a veteran organizer of awareness-raising shindigs such as Live Aid and Live 8, claims that he was inspired to join Live Earth by seeing Mr. Gore's documentary. He subsequently changed his life by trading in his Mercedes for a Lexus Hybrid. Despite his admiration for Mr. Gore, Mr. Wall refers to him as "Mr. Rhythm," and acknowledges that he is "a little stiff." But then what do you expect when your inner alien is straining to escape?

Another straw in the solar wind: Mr. Gore reportedly wanted to turn out the lights all over Britain for a brief period at the time of the concert. Was this really an attempt to signal to his home planet? As it turned out, the plot was foiled when the operators of the National Grid pointed out that the power surge when the lights were switched back on might disrupt the entire system, possibly flat-lining hospital patients on life-support.

Live Earth's hypocrisy seems a little out of this world, too. Its stars are among the largest consumers of energy on Earth. They are, however, reportedly being given "green counselling."
And purportedly purchasing carbon credits from Al Gore to justify their existence. Woe to the human who fails to rationalize their carbon emissions to self-proclaimed authorities.


John Nicklin said...

No Martian is that stupid. I think he's really from Pluto, or wa that Goofy, I always get them mixed up. Mars will be his next stop since its warming there too and they seem to have a hell of a lot of CO2 as a percentage of other gases.

Then on to Titan where they have a really bad methane problem.

John Nicklin said...

What the hell is with that picture? Scary!

Jake said...

It seems that Al Gore's own son is a carbon spewing clone of his dad. Today his son was busted for driving 160km in a car as well as drug possession (Vallium, Vicodin, Adderall, Xanax, and some pot).

Driving a car that fast while high on narcotics derived from hydrocarbons ain't good for the environment. It's just like the old saying: "Like father, like son."

basil said...

If you study the features of his face carefully, you will see quite clearly that Al Gore is not an alien - let's be realistic here - he is obviously a lizard masquerading as a human.

I can only hope that Al Gore III wasn't smokin' the hydro while speeding in his hybrid - think of all that energy wasted when he could be smoking some lovely sun stroked 'erb.