Don't worry, ad agencies, there's Green for you in this fake-ass crisis too!
Maybe David Suzuki can illuminate and levitate light bulbs through sheer awareness-power, but I am fallen, a denier, no less, and I have to rely on the old fashioned environmentally unfriendly methods. I would just end up dropping the bulb on my floor, and having to vacuum up all that mercury and dump it in my compost heap. What a hassle!
Maybe David Suzuki could come by my house and teach me how to run my air conditioner like that non stop this summer. Maybe if someone dangled some green technology research money in front of me, I could learn to care hard enough and visibly enough to teach you how to do it too.
If not, I guess I'll just have to use my share of Ontario Hydro. I plan to use the hell out of it this summer, to celebrate humankind's amazing technical achievement of controlling the indoor climate. Will you join me?
Let's go full blast, Ontario! You have the power, and you're going to pay for it anyways, so stay cool!