Friday, June 1, 2007

Gore vs. Badwulf

Al Gore has some competition. Gore offers invisible carbon credits, but Fenris offers a comic book, that includes a tithing template to help you accurately calculate your eco-dues. If you are wondering what to do with your pennies and Canadian Tire money, just forward to Fenris for an unspecified future reward.

From the tip of the roof to the secret subterranean shrine to Set, the Snake God, the Badwulf household, so like your own, is filled with the up-gushing social consciousnessidness (some spell this word consciousnessedness be sure to enter this spelling irregularity into your user’s spelling database in your Blackberry) of the horrible implausibility of Boiling Rain. It could be coming, maybe soon, maybe never. But, oooh, what if it were true? Are your social engineers busy engineering a social solution to this neither plausible nor realistic problem? Who is responsible? What is the action plan? Where is the office space you are renting? When are cheques going to flow? Why aren’t more people concerned about what does not exist?

[..] The horrible boiling rain occurs when two hurricanes collide. The cells of the hurricanes act like zygotes and form a super hurricane. At the fearsome center of this monster of wind, clouds of water form high in the atmosphere where they absorb leaking microwave oven rays and become super heated . They fall to the earth as drops of boiling water! Aaaargh! Earth’s most vulnerable communities, of Plant-Canadians, or of Non-Burrowing Non-Egg-laying Insect-Canadians, will suffer under this ghastly future. They will Die, they may Suffer! We must act now! The poor petunia and the potato will not like boiling rain. Their friends, the petunia borer (infestans septic pestans) and the potato cockroach (Fenianianii cthulumite) would die, too. They might even suffer.