Friday, January 26, 2007

La la

Ontario's universities need an additional $300 million over the next three years…
London Free Press, January 23, 2007
For a long time I've felt that the success of students in the social sciences and humanities in universities these days is determined by their faculties more by an aptitude for the correct intentions than by any aptitude for scholarship, let alone by actual scholarship itself — and in first- and second-year courses just the faintest hint of having any sort of intention will do.

Nothing again will ever make me surrender this opinion after reading The Elevator by Lisa Bridges, one of 2005's outstanding essays in the third-year Environmental Context class from the University of Wollongong's Science, Technology & Society department. Perhaps the only essay ever to actually reproduce the text "la la" three times, its academic credentials are apparently attested to by the inclusion of footnotes… and what very precious footnotes they are! The Elevator must be suffered to be believed!

Source: Tim Blair, via David Janes. Cross-posted to Dust my Broom.


Honey Pot said...

To think good money was wasted on sending her to University. They have got to be kidding giving an award for such drivel, that any kid in grade six could have produced. She has to be some rich kid, and her dad donated tons of money to the school.

Thucydides said...

O.K., you have created and published some amazing parodies before but "The Elevator" has to be the best.

Confess. One of you wrote this, or did Fennis Badwulf knock this off in a half hour as a whim? I deal with school children (Primary School children) who write much more coherent stories for journals and creative writing. Or are you trying to tell us Lisa is actually in Grade Five or Six?

Lisa Bridges (if there is such a person) will be in for a rude shock should she ever attempt to enter the real world and take on a job which requires thought, ordering of data or any of the other day to day activities successful people need carry out.

I will flag that name in case this isn't a put on, and treat any application and resume from Lisa Bridges in an environmentally responsible way. My composter needs more dry mass.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't do it. I simply couldn't read the whole thing. I got about a page down and gave up. It's not like I haven't read trash before but Lord what shit. You're right Mapmaster, I give up. Let's just shut down the social science departments (except for economics) and spend the money on whatever you science people like spending money on.

Publius GCH

MapMaster said...

At last, VICTORY FOR SCIENCE can be declared!

To demonstrate our magnanimity in this hour, however, I think we can be generous and allow a special dispensation for the history department as well, so long as that history is not preceded by beseeching and contrived cultural modifiers like, say, "transgendered history," or "social environmental history."