Friday, December 22, 2006

"Christ on Crutches"

I subjected my hair to the two second test and I'm now a burn victim.

Ho ho ho!" may become "ouch ouch ouch!" for Santa Claus impersonators seeking to wing it with a fake beard, Swedish experts warned.

Sweden's national testing institute tested six models of beard on sale in the Scandinavian country and found that two of them turned into a raging inferno when coming into contact with a naked flame.

"We placed the beards on a peg in a laboratory. We placed a small flame underneath for two seconds to simulate a situation where Father Christmas gets too near to a candle or match," fire expert Per Thureson said in a statement.
It's easy enough to blame drunken Santas and their dollar store beards, but until matches and candles are banned, such needless infernos will continue to occur.

The holiday season is once again upon us. Best to make it bearable by drinking lots.

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this timely reminder of why at this special time of year we should celebrate, protect and enhance our huge, unfireable and overpaid bureaucracy. Because if we didn't, who would protect us from immolating ourselves with Santa beards? Who indeed.