Wednesday, November 22, 2006

"Where are all the Conservative Women?"

"Where are all the Conservative Women?" asked Belinda with a snicker. She could see she was attracting some stares as she entered the cafe on Richmond Street.

"Is she gonna steal our women from us too" whispered one of the old timers at the counter.

"Bunch a Goddamn vampires, the likes of her," was the hushed response of his companion.

The eyes of the waitress froze them both where they stood.

Belinda was surrounded now by onlookers as she affectedly sauntered through the coffee shops of her adversary's hometown. Seeing a large crowd had gathered, the Heiress knew she needed to say something memorable to add further insult to this humiliation of the enemy. This time she was going to wing it. No speech writers. Her thoughts, in little fragments, began to race through her head to the rhythm of her increasing heart beat: "I'm not, not some dumb blond anymore . . .

"That's why women and some men won't participate in politics," the Heiress blurted out.

You could hear a cockroach fart in the silence that followed.

. . . But don't worry folks:

Even though she ain't been saying too much, the old mistress's back in town. And she's just come back from bouncing around in the biggest political slinging town on the continent.

Now she's home to fulfill the prophecy she left us with.

And this time she's gonna singlehandedly rid the whole Goddamn nation of all the druggies, perverts 'n creeps - the ones the Liberals let run rampant as they siphoned off the nation's resources.

Clint Eastwood never said much either.


Anonymous said...

If we just scrapped this damnable socialized medicine all these health nazi's would have no leverage when lecturing us on what to eat,smoke and drink.

As long as we are forced to pay each others doctors bills, these people will always feel they have the 'right' and 'responsibility' to nag us.

Sky Captain said...

I rather like Belinda.
She obviously pisses you off because you rely on monochrome sexist smears to insult her.
I think that your insults say more about your own(rather obvious) deficiencies than any allegedly moral aspect of her behaviour.

Your just some frustrated little box-ticker aren't you?

Anonymous said...

Belinda doesn't understand irony very well does she? "Where are all the Conservative women?" Well one is running against the liberal man you're supporting. In fact I beleive he is the only man in the race.

Anonymous said...

You've certainly outdone yourselves with the Haskett spoof, though it depicts a disturbing authenticity. I've not had a good laugh like that in awhile.