Friday, November 17, 2006

Diapers are oppressive

The path to a socialist paradise according to Fenris Badwulf:

Several scientists, notably the Racism in Acrylic Media Studio at the Fine Arts department at the University of Toronto, have sought consensus to overcome the racist desire for control in our society. And, to have people enslaved to their colon is really racism at its worst. The diaper, truly the second best symbol of freedom after the hammer and sickle, offers our village peoples the opportunity to experience life without the slavery to toilets, toilet paper, and social conservative morals.

Scientists have shown that people who wear diapers are less likely to crash hovercraft, to beat spouses, and commit chainsaw related crimes. Further evidence is not needed now that opinion makers have made their beliefs known; what is needed is funding to suppress the spread of this offensive Christian ideal of bowel control. No more should we feel enslaved to others arbitrary dark ages hocus pocus about what is right and wrong. Children are being traumatized as we speak and this must stop. Laws must be passed! Brochures must be issued! Information hot lines must be established. The CBC must produce a documentary showing the links between toilet training, Global Warming, and aboriginal glue sniffing.
I am saddened. I expected a fairer solution from a man who claims he cares. Diapers are bad for the environment and are an identified burden to landfill overflow which contributes to global warming. Societal expectations of hygiene are oppressive and discriminatory. Until people everywhere are sanctioned by their respective obligatory unions to give up control of their bowels in all public places, including their work places, bereft of restraining devices such as diapers and bras, the capitalists will continue to control the global village. Diapers, disposable or otherwise, contribute to global warming and hence must be banned.


Fenris Badwulf said...

When I get back from my volunteer work reading to the blind I will address the important issues you raise. Until then, have a bran muffin and contemplate.

Fenris Badwulf said...

Gee, I wish I could post a reasoned and reasonable rebuttal to this cruel and mean fact-based stuff. But my Microsoft based software does not provide a London-Ebonic translator. Where is the reasonable rebuttal key here? I feel oppressed. I need a lollypop and a handout.