Thursday, October 12, 2006

Verschiedenartigkeit, unsere Stärke

Via I, Ectomorph, HT SDA, PBUH, here's Toronto's comical new coat of arms:

One might expect Latin on the coat of arms of a great city, but it turns out that dead languages are not suitable media for expressing empty, faddish slogans.

Couldn't Toronto at least have found a semi-meaningful motto, one that won't sound as dated as acid rain by 2016?

5 comments:

Little Big Man said...

Dimness Our Brightness.

The Engine that Drives Ontario into the Ground.

Yours to Decipher.

YouTube's Ronotto.

A Relic of Peace.

Free Health Care Capital of the World.

Pietr said...

Toronot's coat of arms looks great!
Reminds me of a coat of arms I fashioned for the Cranfield Aero Club in 1983; that used an elephant and a Dodo, both rampant, both incapable of flight.

basil said...

The little heart on the crown is awesome. Rarely does one see such bold yet naive representation in heraldry. I think they should have dotted all the is in "diversity" with cute little hearts.

But sadly I feel the choices of eagle(? hawk? predator-bird-thing)beaver and bear are not appropriately socially sensitive. While I appreciate the fact the bear is limp wristed (in obvious support of Toronto's large gay community), it is still too inherently masculine. The connotations of "beaver" just don't come across strongly enough as pussy in this image to counteract the oppressive masculine image. There should be a woman's bare breasts (a lesbian's breasts, of course, or at the very least, a hermaphrodite) in the picture to lend it empowered female presence.

The bear, beaver and eagle-loooking-thing are also often stereotypes of loners in the wild. I don't think we should be encouraging such values in Toronto. We are building communities not celebrating individualism. Loners are bad for the community. They are, well . . . loners.

The eagle/hawk/lord-of-the-sky-image reeks of imperialism. Just look at the way it towers over the other two, exploiting the bear's strength and the beaver's engineering skills (where's the tophat and monocle for the feathered capitalist pig?). It has obviously chosen the beaver in its preferred pecking order (in an obvious endorsment of competition. Notice how it faces the beaver and appears to be aiming a poop at the bear?

Appropriation of heteronormative-European symbolism is most distressingly inappropriate from "Toronto the good". Surely the designers could have used Shmoo (a sexually ambiguous cartoon from the enlightened late '70s - oops, I forgot, he/she's white) or some other post-Beatles creation. How 'bout some ants (there's red ones, black ones, big ones, small ones) . . . a llama and a kangaroo?

But keep the hearts, Goddamnit! Bring on even more of them - with "true diversity!" written in the centre of each of them.

Honey Pot said...

Astute observation Basil. I agree, the bear is gay. I suppose they needed to make it less ferocious as not scare people away from Toronto. It is toothless also.

What is going on with that beaver? If you look closely, it has a huge erection with its hand in ready to make the play. Its tail is deformed and why do both mammals have flea collars on?

What can you say about that bird? No way it is an eagle. It looks like a cross between chicken and an owl. Must be to symbolize diversity.

Decorating it with the peelers off of kotex mini-pads is making a statement of some sort.

Why oh why do they have the animals mounted on a green golf ball?

I wonder how much they paid for that.

Pietr said...

I think the Eagle is trying to 'walk like an egyptian', like the song by the Bangles.