Sunday, June 25, 2006

The London Fog district soviet

Nothin' says progressive polynormative lovin' like an endorsement from First Comrade Fenris Badwulf from Mitchieville, the illustrious persynage for whom Orwell was obliged to qualify "all animals are equal" with "…but some animals are more equal than others."

I never really realized what a socialist paradise London Ontario had become until I began reading [the London Fog]. Do check them out to catch up on the latest madcap hilarity that is collectivist rule untainted by ability. Certainly, London is the place that Robert Mugabe would retire to as Mayor for Life, if only Curly, Larry, and Moe would step down as city councilors.

London Ontario is a shining beacon of what lies ahead for the lesser urban communities of Erin, Orton, Brisbane, Ballinifad, and Cedar Valley as they grow towards a multicultural utopia, oozing with diversity and crawling with activists.
The London Fog forwards a cheque to Fenris and refutes all Trotsky-ite heresies. Fenris knows our inmost thoughts; all his life he has cared for us.

As Fenris fructifies the earth, restores the centuries and makes the spring bloom, etc., he is sacrificing for the unbearable supreme love he holds for us all, and takes on all the troubles of our times entirely upon himself. For example, what to do when politically correct, activist-friendly victim groups collide?
Which group in a given situation has the greater claim to victimization? The Greater Victim gets our sympathy, grief counseling, the book deal with Oprah, front of the line access to health care, and a handout; the Lesser Victim gets jail.

[…] This is the defining question for philosopher-activists of situational ethics of the twenty-first century. Who gets arrested? Who gets the handout?
Challenging questions, yes? Who but Fenris, or a lesser activist who has received the proper training from the Ministry of Handouts, could come up with the correct response:
I suggest that a research group be formed to study the definition of the problem and report back to the steering sub-committee with a request for funds to initiate planning of an action plan.
Oops, another cheque on the way…