Friday, May 26, 2006

Special interest stew

According to the London Free Press, about forty demonstrators protested for protests outside Stephen Harper's appearance at the London Convention Centre Wednesday. The People's Alternative Lunch not only appropriated the vicarious rhetorical device of every totalitarian regime but also served up vegan stew to add the flavour of planned-economy rationing to the event.

Serving vegan stew, bread and vegetables, about 40 protesters, including several local New Democrats, held signs that read "Affordable housing now," "Not another Ipperwash" and "Support our troops, bring them home." Others shouted slogans in defence of public health care, child care and same-sex marriage.
There always being too much of a good thing in a vegan stew, the protesters abstemiously left out baby seals, Kyoto and abortion rights, as tempting as the addition of those grievance ingredients to the broth must have been. The first law of left-wing protests is that every grievance has equal rights and is accorded free love amongst the grievances, thereby spawning more little injustices to grow up into grievances. The indiscriminate carnal familiarity, however, has left some protesters unaware of the parentage of even their own particular truculence:
"There are a lot of different groups here coming out for different reasons," said one protester, Dan Hilton, who was with the London Solidary for Six Nations group. "As a non-native from London, I felt like I need to support (native protesters in Caledonia)."
Still, enough special interests were trotted out to have allowed the protesters to have assembled themselves into appropriate little People's Advisory Committees where they could be officiously as well as popularly ignored.
London-Fanshawe NDP MP Irene Mathyssen was also at the protest, calling on the Conservative government to listen to ordinary Canadians.

"Just because I became an MP doesn't mean I'm not a community activist anymore," the rookie MP said. "This is where I should be. I'm here to support the whole list of issues, and to object to the lack of consultation of this government."
This is precisely where the People's Advisory Committees could come in handy, because when Irene Mathyssen says "ordinary Canadians" she's not talking about the hundreds of thousands of Londoners who didn't show up for the protest, but rather the People, as self-servingly abstract and arbitrary concept that only similarly self-serving and self-appointed representatives would have the audacity to speak for. Don't bother saving any lentils for me.

3 comments:

Brent Gilliard said...

Did you know that Canada is "the largest export producer of lentils"? If wikipedia is to be believed, anyway.

MapMaster said...

I can't believe that you know that. Summer vacation too long already?

Anonymous said...

Pssst! Don't tell the vegans what happens to the gophers, deer, rabbits, mice, etc. which live near the lentil farm. And whatever you do, let them believe that there were no wolves, bears, raccoons, beavers, mink, moose, porcupines, skunks, birds or butterflies living there before it was a farm.