Thursday, May 25, 2006

Marie Osmond hates freedom and she has bad hair too

Yet more hysterical cries over the dangers of a free forum. Luckily, only the National Enquirer has so far paid attention to yet another celebrity who believes their cause is more important than everyone else's.

Once an entertainer, always an entertainer I guess.


Pop star-turned-doll maker MARIE OSMOND has launched a personal crusade to clean up the Internet after learning her two teenage daughters have been posting sexually explicit correspondence on their MySpace.com websites. The PAPER ROSES singer felt compelled to give a statement to US tabloid National Enquirer after the publication uncovered outrageous content on her daughters JESSICA and RACHAEL's blogs.

[..] In her statement, shocked Marie, a devout Mormon, says, "I am saddened by some of the choices that two of our children have made. "The insidious potential for harm from adolescent Internet sites like MySpace.com only exacerbates these kinds of problems. "If my being a celebrity figure is good for anything, let it be as a voice of warning to other parents that no matter how protective we think we may have been with our children in the past, we need to become more knowledgeable and even more vigilant now in order to protect them."
Actually, protecting and educating is your job Marie, which apparently you didn't do so well as your sixteen year old is fantasizing about 59 year old David Bowie and posting the sort of material that you claim to object to. If it wasn't for myspace, your daughters might be out whoring themselves on the street corner.

HT: Nealenews

5 comments:

Mack the Plain Little Turtle said...

I just think the whole think is so amusing. The terror that she is speaking of experiencing in connection with her older girl relates to the fact that the girl - shock, gasp, narf! - likes sex. That just won't do. Sex has to remain ugly, dirty, a sin, a thing that sends you straight to hell, unless you are married to someone of the opposite sex and doing it to conceive. Guilt is what that girl should feel, not excitement. Fear is the goal, not pleasure. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

Pietr said...

You!Yes,you behind the bike sheds!
STAND STILL LADDY!
(And pull your trousers up.And who's that girl you're with?This is a boy's school!)

Bruce said...

I'd still do her. But then, I'm a little bit country...

Mack the Plain Little Turtle said...

Ah soreheaduk: just when I was feelin' all lonely and such, you prove that there exist folks who are not asleep behind the wheel. Cheers mate!

Pietr said...

A devout Moron? That must be the fastest-growing religion in the world.