Thursday, April 27, 2006

Imagine London soon to seek dihydrogen monoxide ban



Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills
uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are
caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen
monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes
severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive
sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting
and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent,
DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect." may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape. accelerates
corrosion and rusting of many metals. may cause electrical failures and
decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. has been found in excised
tumors of terminal cancer patients. Contamination is reaching epidemic

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every
stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is
global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO
has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and
recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

as an industrial solvent and coolant. in nuclear power plants. in the
production of styrofoam. as a fire retardant. in many forms of cruel
animal research. in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing,
produce remains contaminated by this chemical. as an additive in certain
"junk-foods" and other food products. Companies dump waste DHMO into
rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this
practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we
cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution,
or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic
health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military
organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing
multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare
situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it
through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many
store large quantities for later use.

Like the official buffoons in Aliso Viejo California, rumour has it that city officials in London Ontario, under pressure from advocacy groups such as Imagine London, are working toward the elimination of this vile substance.

ALISO VIEJO, Calif. - City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production.

Then they learned, to their chagrin, that dihydrogen monoxide — H2O for short — is the scientific term for water.

"It's embarrassing," said City Manager David J. Norman. "We had a paralegal who did bad research."

The paralegal apparently fell victim to one of the many official looking Web sites that have been put up by pranksters to describe dihydrogen monoxide as "an odorless, tasteless chemical" that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled.

As a result, the City Council of this Orange County suburb had been scheduled to vote next week on a proposed law that would have banned the use of foam containers at city-sponsored events. Among the reasons given for the ban were that they were made with a substance that could "threaten human health and safety."

The measure has been pulled from the agenda, although Norman said the city may still eventually ban foam cups.

"If you get Styrofoam into the water and it breaks apart, it's virtually impossible to clean up," Norman said.

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press.


Butch McLarty said...

Who's the bunch of whack-bars that run this site? Is Van Meerbergen's boss, Kim Ainslie involved in any way?

bar-b-q said...

We are the Star Chamber. Look out your window right now.