Thursday, January 26, 2006

Workplace motivation

“Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen”
Spike Milligan
If you're not reading Mitchieville, you've probably got something better to do. But that clearly doesn't apply to you if you're a socialist, so why not just move one little finger and click on this link and exercise your eyeballs reading these wonderful suggestions for getting someone else to create a wonderful politically-correct, diversity-embracing workplace utopia, just for you! And just for everybody else, too! Drawn from the lessons of the history of the progressive German Vegetarian Socialist Peoples Pacifist Party in the thirties and early forties, my personal favourite workplace policy is this:
Use of Inspired Meetings to foster Political Awareness. Currently, workers only enjoy Safety Meetings. This can be improved and uplifted to a political realm by having additonal daily meetings on subjects of a necessary nature on such things as Liberal Party Doctrine, Great Leaders of the Liberal Party, Prosperity from Liberal Party Direction, and Evil Enemies of the Liberal Party. To add a multi-cultural flavor to these inspiring sessions, a diversity of iced beverages can be served, such as beer, wine, vodka, gin, rye, rum, scotch, bourbon, and whiskey. On special occasions, such as a Production Quota being Accomplished or Pay Day, fellow workers from the Prostitutes Guild can be brought in for a work skills exchange. A few Winnebago camper vehicles and an Instant-Teller equipped truck will travel with the Guild Workers. This will reduce absenteeism and hence increase the tax revenue which is so necessary for social spending.
As Fenris Badwulf always says, Think Globally, Act Locally, and Demand Handouts!


Mike said...

Bury my funny bone in Mitchieville.

Pietr said...

Surely you forgot Vodka and Schnapps?

MapMaster said...

Vodka and Schnapps together? A multicultural miracle mixer!