Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Critical post-election analysis…

… from Damian Penny, Top 10 reasons the Marijuana Party of Canada didn't win any seats:

10. Spent the entire campaign budget on Doritos
9. Candidates couldn't stop giggling when they realized how much "election" sounds like "erection"
8. Supporters wasted all of election day watching the Chappelle Show marathon on the Comedy network
7. Actually, it turned out to be the Home Shopping Channel, but by the time they realized their mistake the polls had closed
6. Didn't spend enough time campaigning in Toronto
5. Spent too much time campaigning in Amsterdam
4. Most leading economists felt that their position on the so-called federal-provincial "fiscal imbalance" relied on outdated data and dubious macroeconomic theories, and was simply a blatant bid to bribe voters in key Quebec ridings, dude
3. I don't know, but I'm sure George W. Bush had something to do with it
2. Voters confused "Marijuana Party of Canada" for "Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada", which explains the massive Marxist-Leninist tide that swept the country yesterday
1. Most Canadians whose brains and common sense had been completely destroyed by mind-altering drugs voted Liberal

1 Comment:

basil said...

Liberal Party? Goddamn, I was sure I was voting for the Libertine Party.