Thursday, January 12, 2006

Act Locally, Think Globally, and Demand Handouts

More from Mitchieville, because once a day is never enough:

I am a victim of a racist, sexist, heteronormative society. My name is Jack.

[..] I took my shattered extended family, my three children, Big Mandingo and Little Mandingo, and my wife, to Feminist family counselling. To solve our problem, the radical lesbian councillor decided that evil heteronormative guidance was wrong ... everything foul and corrupt on the Spaceship Earth comes from America ... her suggestion was to try something non-traditional and certainly non-Western. So I took my extended diverse family to a Sharia court in Yemmen. There, I talked to the head Imam at the Schimitar of Remorseless Vengence Mosque and Family Counselling Center in beautiful downtown Yemmen. I agreed to follow the decision of this impartial and fair multi-cultural tribual, to listen to their voice, and to celebrate this culture. It felt good to let others do my thinking for me.

The Sharia court decided to have my wife stoned to death. I cried at the cultural wisdom and justice of this decision. The evil ways of America had been put aside! I was invited to participate in the happy celebration of non-Christian culture by throwing construction block sized rocks at my wife in a celebration of diversity.