Monday, November 21, 2005

"You're all demons trying to kill me like I'm trying to kill myself."

Basil's recent explosive contribution to the London Fog has resulted in an increase of arrogance and righteousness. Although I have been absent for but a few days, my "relaxation of vigilance" has been exposed as "collusion with the enemy."

Redemption is impossible, confession futile, so what do I have to lose? I am a marked dissenter.

A city of botched suicide attempts, alcoholics and Suzuki science:

Party studies in Middlesex County indicate you likely have a problem with booze if you live in the region.
A study that found Middlesex had more people engaging in hazardous drinking than the rest of Ontario has led to a push for policies to control drinking.

Middlesex County was singled out in a study by the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health as the only county in Ontario to exceed the provincial average in all of the group's four categories measuring problem drinking.

[..] Sixteen counties were excluded from the study, including Huron, Perth and Elgin, because the sample size was fewer than 100 people. The study was done with an anonymous telephone survey of people 18 years of age.

If saving lives isn't reason enough for local municipal officials to act on this data, they should do it to avoid multimillion-dollar lawsuits, which have been dramatically increasing in Ontario, Robert Solomon, a law professor at the University of Western Ontario, said yesterday.

If a young person ends up a quadriplegic, the legal settlement can be in the range of $7 million to $8 million. If they are a paraplegic, the payout can be $2 million to $3 million, he said.

"By changing we can save lives," said Solomon, who is national director of legal policy for Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD).

Solomon will be one of the speakers Wednesday at a Middlesex-London Health Unit workshop set up to encourage officials from London, Middlesex, Elgin and Huron to adopt policies for the safe use of alcohol at municipal facilities.

Many Middlesex communities don't have comprehensive alcohol policies and are having problems with "stag and doe" functions, including property damage and underage drinking, according to the health unit.

Solomon said municipalities will all eventually have alcohol policies for their facilities.

"The only question is: Will they implement the policy before or after they have a multimillion-dollar suit? My preference is do it now, save the life," he said.

Solomon said municipal alcohol policies need to consider, among other things:

- Including in-hall rental agreement limits on the amount of alcohol sold;

- Requiring staff serving drinks to be trained in spotting intoxication and have minimum ratios of staff to patrons;

- Requiring trained security;

- Limiting how long alcohol is served.

Solomon said municipalities should also ensure groups holding alcohol-related events have a transportation policy to handle people who are intoxicated.

"The idea that you can serve as much alcohol as you want to as many people as you want as long as you have a phone to dial a cab is not good enough."
The authorities are there to help though. Publishing your plight in the People's Press is in no way meant to be understood as ridicule:
"Bill?" Const. Ryan Scrivens says.

Nine seconds of silence pass.


Five seconds of silence.


Four seconds of silence.

"Bill, keep talking to us, OK Bill? We want to help you, OK? We're here to help you, OK? We're here to help you through it, OK?"

Finally, Bill speaks.

"You're not. . . . You're all demons trying to kill me like I'm trying to kill myself."
In London Ontario, thinly disguised good intentions masquerade as rational solutions:
London is using one scourge of the Great Lakes, the zebra mussel, to eliminate another -- phosphorous.

And the groundbreaking pilot project could save cities millions of dollars in effluent treatment costs.

"It's a beautiful idea, a very exciting area of research and development because it's a very cheap material," said Argyrios Margaritis, a UWO professor of engineering.

"It's a very practical approach, it's very cheap and very effective," Margaritis said.

Zebra mussels are small, shelled creatures introduced accidentally to the Great Lakes in the late 1980s. They spread like wildfire, wreaking havoc by clogging water intake systems and disrupting ecosystems.

[..] "If it works, it could make treatment cheaper for everyone." Van Rossum said.
And if it doesn't work, oh well .... the eventual goal of universal equality and prosperity justifies the means.


MapMaster said...

The study was done with an anonymous telephone survey of people 18 years of age.

Wow, that's a representative study! Robert Solomon, a law professor(!) at the University of Western Ontario, ought to realize that there's already policies in place to deal with the kind of hazardous drinking this study suggests is a problem around here — it's called a legal drinking age!

basil said...

You forgot to mention that Sixteen counties were excluded from the study, including Huron, Perth and Elgin, because the sample size was fewer than 100 people. Just how many fewer than 100 do they mean? One from each county? I can't imagine the social consequences predicted if I chose to survey five of my closest drinking buddies from when I was 18 . . .

Paul said...

I can't find a single one of the suggestions which has not already been taken up by the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario. Most bars require their staff to be "SmartServe" trained. And conditions on liquor licenses place limits on how much one can be served and the hours of service.

If there are people avoiding the requirements of the AGCO, let them address that. If the AGCO's requirements are being met, then their goals do seem a bit misplaced.

Ian Scott said...

Just tell Solomon to fuck off.

The Mayor said...

Once again, the evil influence of heteronormative thought has polluted the diversity of London, once the city of Light on the river Thames.

Your ruling elites should speedily bring in race based sentencing and hiring quotas for bar staff.

No arrests means no crime ... just look at how wonderful Toronto is doing with this policy. Let the drunks explore their individuality through car wrecks and driving into the river. Then the tobacco companies can be sued for reparations.

My name is Fenris Badwulf, and I care.