Monday, November 28, 2005

The Terrible Applause

Every time when they read the name of Stalin, all representatives would rise immediately, and yell "Ula!" At the end of the meeting, they approved the letter pledging allegiance to Stalin. All stood up and the sounds of applauding thundered the auditorium. It then turned into a long lasting cheer. Three minutes later, four minutes later, five minutes later, the sounds of clapping kept roaring, and the cheering remained enthusiastic. People's hands were hurting. Their arms were numb. The elderly were out of breath. But no one dared to stop first. The clapping kept on. Six minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes, all representatives looked at one another, pretending to be full of joy. Nine minutes, ten minutes, and at the eleventh minute, a member of the chairing group -- the president of the paper factory-- returned to his normal look, and sat down on his seat. Then a miracle happened. The unstoppable clapping stopped. That night, the president of the paper factory was arrested, and sentenced to ten years in prison. When he signed his name on the record of investigation, the investigator said to him: "Never be the first to stop clapping."
Alright. Alright. Okay. Alright. Thank You. Alright. Thank You. Alright. Alright. Okay. Alright. Let's get started here. Alright. Hey we have a campaign to run. Come on. Alright. Okay. Alright! ALRIGHT!


Paul Martin's 'celebration speech' after his government was shamed out of parliament in an unprecedented motion of non-confidence can be viewed here.

3 comments:

John the Mad said...

The Ottawa Archipelago

Pietr said...

Nice reference John!
I was thinking along the same lines.
When I was thirteen(during the Cold War),I read the book.
Then I saw my Lit teacher holding a copy during break.
'Nice book!' I said.

Fenris Badwulf said...

I think that Paul Martin is going to win a majority in the fast approaching Federal Election. I like your comparison of Paul (I call him Paul since I am a member of the Liberal Party; you can call him Paul too when you join.) to the great Socialist Leader, Stalin. It was wrong for the paper factory manager to stop clapping. That set a bad example for the other workers, soldiers, peasants and commissars.

Soon, Paul will be our own Canadian Supreme Leader. Paul loves you and wants to look after you, like a parent does his children. He wants to care for you, helped by his faithful elves, the Federal Beaurocracy, and his dwarves, the teachers, social workers, and rights activists. He wants you to be looked after, from womb to tomb. That makes me feel warm inside.

Be a Care Bear and support Paul. Do not help Harper, Dark Lord from Alberta, and his legions of orcs. He is a big meanie. He eats kittens.

I love Paul. You can too.