Thursday, November 10, 2005

My cat is coming home soon

If you believe it is true, then it is so:

One Researcher is Looking for a Connection Between Cats and Schizophrenia

Dr. E. Fuller Torrey, president of the Stanley Medical Research Institute in Bethesda, Md., has been studying whether a parasite found in cat droppings called Toxoplasma gondii can trigger an onset of schizophrenia later in life.

"Most people have not thought of schizophrenia as being caused by a virus or bacteria or a parasite," Torrey said. "This is a relatively new idea."

[..] Torrey's study found a 53 percent increase in risk for schizophrenia if you owned a cat during childhood, but he also found a 51 percent increase in risk if you were breastfed. Statisticians believe the increase in risk has to be above 200 percent for there to be an actual association between something like owning a cat and schizophrenia.

"We haven't proven anything," Torrey said. "Infectious agents, virus, etcetera really need to be looked at very carefully in these cases."

In the meantime, Torrey is still cautious of cats.

"Personally I would not buy a kitten for a small child," he said. "I don't think we know enough to be able to say there's no risk."
HT: Nealenews


Clearly, Torrey is an idiot. He does not comprehend the correct correlation between schizophrenia and cats. It has nothing to do with bacteria, but all to do with the type of person who would invite such a psychologically menacing creature as a cat into their home. In exchange for free room and board, the former Lords of the manor become virtual slaves of the cat and are frequently known to suffer from nervous attacks. The cat however is the indirect cause of such reactions, because the humans who enter into such exchanges understand they are relinquishing a portion of their freedom once the chosen cat is invited into the home.

And my cat is coming home soon.

2 comments:

basil said...

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, fuck you cocksucker! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, AAAAAHHHHHH shuddup! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Feed me, I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. EAT SHIT!

Anyone who desires to be close to nature (ie. breast feeding and consorting with animals) is obviously fucking crazy and will only breed crazy children. Responible adults raise their children in Skinner boxes.

Lisa said...

Confused readers of the London Fog are hereby enlightened. Each member of the London Fog lives with one or more cats.