Monday, October 17, 2005

The CBC is responsible

The living dead roam the streets of Canada - validation of what we Canadians have always known.

HT: Jomama.

Yesterday I joined the ranks of the living dead at the Vancouver zombie walk. I heard about it the night before from some friends, and thought, "oh, that'll be fun. Maybe there'll be a dozen people there. What the hell."

Try three hundred.

[..] First, a trip through the mall. The first few shoppers seemed determined to pretend that 300 zombies were not stumbling past their favourite stores, moaning "Brrraaaaaaaiiiiiiins". An upscale jewelry store locked their doors as we passed by. We bottlenecked at the escalators and a crowd gathered to stare at us at the bottom.

What I found most fascinating about the whole thing was how people react. When you're in a small group of two or three zombies, people try very hard to pretend they haven't seen you, probably because they think you're a junkie. Once the crowd gets bigger, they look uncomfortable, or stare. A few people laugh and get into it. And the only people who actually speak up almost invariably ask: "What's this for?" Is it a protest? A festival? A club? Everyone comes to the conclusion that it must be for something. It doesn't occur to most people that 300 people would just dress up as zombies and stomp around town for the hell of it.

[..] Along the way, everyone stopped to gawk from the safety of their store windows. Brains were eaten. Buses were swarmed at from the ground. Small dogs were made very nervous. A police escort helped direct traffic so that the walking dead were not made even deader. The only real complaint I heard was an angry woman saying to her friend "I didn't appreciate that one grabbing my breast" as the crowd passed her by - unfortunately I guess one zombie got a little out of hand.

After learning about the Zombiewalk from Susan Eagle, London City Council unanimously approved the formation of the Zombiewalk 2005 Task Force, headed by Gord Hume. The purpose of the Task Force is to bring the Walk to London. The Walk would begin in East London with the eventual destination of the John Labatt Center. Supporters of the event emphasize the importance of increasing diversity and creativity in London. Funding for the event will come from taxpayers.

"It is an especially opportune time to organize a gathering of Zombies," chirped our Worship, Anne-Marie Dee Dee Dum Decicco, who is also a member of the Zombiewalk 2005 Task Force. "Like, it would be so good for London's diversity profile and a very special compliment to 'The Lost Soul Stroll' which celebrates London's Heritage."

4 comments:

james said...

Hey man, we've got to be inclusive of the undead ya know. They have rights too! They should be free to assemble and have at the public purse like every other interest group!

Pietr said...

Just the sort of prank I loved pulling when I was younger.
Being in Europe, the uptake was <<300 ("Oooh,shh!Don't upset the devils of conformity!Sit up to our necks in poison jelly and try not to make waves!")

I thought you were trying to put me off Canada?

Anyway,the next step is obvious.
Wait for the cumbersome,clunking establishment to try to wink its rheumy eye and announce the date of their co-option of the spontaneity,then hold a genuine event the day before.
That would really make them sit up and take notice.

Ed said...

send...more...paramedics...

Phronk said...

Stuff like this needs to happen more often.