Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Take that, Atlantic Canada!

London recruited two new doctors, who will be coming to us from our rivals in Atlantic Canada. Fortunately, Atlantic Canada is far away, so we do not need to care about the people who will get sicker and die faster way out there without these doctors. Tough. Caring is a cutthroat business.

But despite our joyous victory over the sick and elderly poor schlubs of Atlantic Canada, things do seem to have gotten almost 50% worse here in the last 24 hours -- yesterday, it was "more than 20,000 Londoners" without doctors. What's the count today?

Recruited from Atlantic Canada, the two are expected to handle 1,500 patients each, taking only a small bite out of the more than 30,000 Londoners with no family doctor.
30,000, now? Why isn't that the story?

I wonder what the real number is.
Even before city brass announced London had landed two family doctors yesterday, hundreds of people were snapping up forms to apply to become their patients.
Strap on your speed dial and get those bottles of wine ready as return favours for your contacts in city hall. Now that the doctors are coming, Londoner, it is up to you to make sure your neighbour doesn't get ahead of you in the queue for their services.

Now is the time to use all the connections and energy you have to benefit yourself above the less fortunate and skilled. You may not get another chance for a while -- and who knows what kind of health problems might come up in your own life before London manages to poach another doctor from poor people thousands of miles away? Do not fool around, or some stranger might be the one that lives instead of you.

Fortunately, the truly ill and needy are often quite slow-moving and are at a disadvantage in the Darwinian struggle of all against all, improving chances for the rest of us. Say it with me. "You gotta look out for number one." Now say it louder! Don't look back! Press on!

There's only one tier, and it's just going to keep shrinking. Don't be the one who gets pushed off its edge!


Anonymous said...

Yeah but 3 London doctors just decided to move the USA yesterday. That makes 30,000 minus 3,000, plus 4,500 equals 31,500 ? Londoners without a doctor. Don't worry though! There must be at least a couple of dozen left in Quebec and the Maritimes who you could still lure to Ontario.


Anonymous said...

As a regular user of a hospital in Leeds UK I am amusing myself greatly with some punk doctor who wants me to go away somewhere else.
You see,I am a local council candidate who works for the local newspaper.