Monday, July 4, 2005

Shriners and children upset Liberal comraderie

Four out of five public relations advisors recommend Gleam-Until-It-HurtsTM brand enamel acid-etching treatment for that inappropriately cheery grin whenever you need it. Dalton McGuinty, a lifelong GUIHTM customer:
After the twentieth photo opp of the day, my jaw aches like an arthritic hooker's, but my smile is still as blindingly specious as ever.
Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty and Quebec Premier Jean Charest today said their governments will cooperate more closely on shared priorities to build a higher quality of life for their citizens.
With the same Party paid-up membership principles of tolerance, social justice and spiritual novocaine guiding their political souls, I would certainly have thought so. But a Shriners' convention in Baltimore where a possible relocation of the Canadian Shriners' Hospital from Montreal to London is being fought over has played host to such chilling sights as this:
At a breakfast Sunday for dozens of Canada's delegates who will vote, the mood was cordial enough but the Ontario and Quebec officials barely spoke.
What could cause this ugly internecine pouting between these ordinarily jolly fraternal Liberal governments? Competition for the jobs, taxes or prestige the presence of a Shriners' hospital would bring to a region? Nope — children are the interprovincial home-wreckers:
"It would be a great thing for London to get that hospital," said [Deb Matthews,] London-North-Centre MPP. "But it would be even greater for the kids. We're doing this for the kids."
Relations between the provinces deteriorated when Matthews continued:
I mean, of course, we're doing this for the Ontario kids. Fuck the Quebec kids, fucking little poutine-loving wankers, they can fuck right off!
To see what I mean, check out this video promoting London's bid as the new site of the hospital here.
It has never been a question of which city, or which children, are more deserving — they're all equally deserving. But some are more equally deserving than others… Otherwise, you may be mistaken that this is just cynical political posturing. And there's none of that here.

4 comments:

Pietr said...

With his hammer and his popsicle,
they've put him in a hospital for good!
(Scrittipolitti-Songs To Remember)
What do you think of my new photo?

Anonymous said...

that is just so fucking funny.

Pietr said...

What,the photo?
Bloody stupid thing to say.

Lisa said...

The image looks good Sorehead - very appropriate. Looks like you are figuring out blogger.