Friday, June 17, 2005

One Day In The Life Of Yahya Ibn-Denis

Ich liebe Mitchieville! He must have some of the best connections in the blogging business. Somehow, he has gotten hold of the diary of a Guantanamo Bay Solzhenitsyn.

7:43 A.M. Put on my galabiyya and noticed that the American Imperialistic earth rapists must have used Downy instead of Snuggle when they washed my clothes. I'll itch all day, I just know it. I can't take this kind of torture anymore, Americans are barbarians. Death to America. Praise be to Allah.

9:00 A.M. Ate breakfast, had a helping of Mahammara Labni. I believe the American abusers are trying to make me sick by using 2 table spoons of chopped fresh dill instead of one table spoon. They will not break me. Death be to all the American cooks and wait staff. Praise be to Allah.

10:00 a.m. The bells rang and I went to prayer. Prayed for the deaths of all things American. We also prayed to kill all the Jews and heathens. Then we prayed to kill all things living. I saw Al Zababi Al Hussein Al Khomeini again, and he was sporting a new pair of Air Jordan's. Michael Jordan is so 1990's, it is obvious the Americans are trying to torture us by fitting us with outdated sports wear. Death to America. Praise be to Allah.
Update: Amnesty International is reporting that this journal may have been typed in Notepad. Are the Amerikkkan thugs preventing their prisoners from using more feature-laden document software with formatting and spell-checking?