Today, June 26, 2005, is Tax Freedom Day for common Canadians, known colloquially as "chumps" or "suckers". It is a special day indeed for those of us stupid enough still to work and produce value for a living instead of using the power of government to steal from those who do.
Yes, starting today, your lives begin, comrades! For the whole rest of 2005, you will no longer be working for the benefit of the Party. Although you will still a nobody of a peasant, a nothing with fewer medical and property rights than your dog, you will be allowed to spend the rest of this year working for your own selfish, inconsequential meat-needs rather than the more rarified and cunning needs of the various formal and informal organized crime families represented by the Party.
Don't get too uppity, though, bitches, since you're back working for the Party on the first of January. The only escape from this cycle will be your eventual euthanasia. Yes, you will die, but the Party is eternal. And he who has spent half his life working for the eternal Party lives on in every kickback, in every secret bank account, in every shipment of hashish.
Congratulations, The Diplomats! We hope you have the presence of mind to pack a harmonica and tambourine for the long, packed cattle car train ride to Nunavut in 2017. Enjoy the prize, and the knowledge that you created the one song that will forever define the 150th birthday of London, Ontario!