Thursday, June 9, 2005

Canada continues to lose its magnetism

The Edmonton Journal reports that even Santa Claus' home is disgruntled with Canada.

Sometime in the last year, a longtime friend turned its back on Canada and was last spotted heading for Siberia.

For centuries, the magnetic North Pole was ours, a constant companion that wandered the rolling tundra and frozen seas of our Arctic.

But no more.

A Canadian scientist who recently returned from a trip to measure the Pole's current location says it has now left Canadian territory and crossed into international waters.
One of the most famous philanthropists in the world, Mr Claus was quoted by an undisclosed source as saying , "Hey, look, I like to share the wealth, and I got a good little system here with these little elves, you know? but this Paul Martin and The Party are just too fucking much, even for me. They even stole my fucking colours! Fuck this, I'd rather live in Siberia than be working to line the pockets of that bunch. Even the elves are insisting the conditions are better in Siberia. Onward Rudolph!"


The Mayor said...

I knew it was going to be a matter of time before Santa gave up on us.

We need to offer him *affordable housing*, welfare, *free* dental and health coverage...this is just a start, but we can get him back.

Lisa said...

But he won't be welcomed back unless he loses a few pounds and stops drinking coca cola - otherwise, he would be a burden on the system. Obesity costs us all.

basil said...

Don't forget that pipe he likes to puff on . . .