Monday, May 16, 2005

Libranos blog

It's The Protocols of the Elders of Trudeaupia, excerpted in a new blog!

Our competitors promise you clean government, ethics and principles. Now when, may I ask you, did those stupid ideas ever get a political party anywhere? They didn't, so that's why we feel confident in letting you and them know all about our dirty tricks, outrageous promises, and outright lies.

After all, who is going to prosecute us? The Attorney-General? The RCMP? Get with the songbook, folks. If the statute of limitations hasn't run out, we'll still be in power and can redeploy our (hidden) monetary resources long enough to make sure that it runs out.

Read such exciting chapters as:

... The Art of Buying Votes. Written by one of our talented, (non-competitively) contracted staff, we will reveal our sure-fire techniques for buying your votes with your own money. You think we would be crazy enough to use our own?

... The Art of Clinging to Power. Frankly, our consigiliere had reservations about publishing this chapter, but logic took precedence. Our reasoning was that, if you can't get into power, you have no need to cling to power or need of our tips. Great logic, and the Don went for it.

... The Art of Promising. This one was a toughie to source in terms of a ghostwriter, but in the end we found just the right guy for the hit job. Still "active" in our family business, he sure is the foremost expert and practicioner in the field of election promises. We rode over the objections of our consigiliere again on this one, by convincing him that nobody, absolutely nobody, could promise like us. No competition, really, and that shut him up.
An excerpt from "The Art Of Buying Votes" is up.